Original Kleptonian Neo-American Church

The Ten Commandments of the OKNeoAC Sportsman

1. Always do everything right and never do anything wrong.

2. Refrain from the use of intoxicating beverages for at least 15 minutes prior to every game, unless doing so would be inhospitable.

3. Do not employ expletives unless they are heartfelt expressions of genuine emotion.

4. Worship your team captain as though he were a golden ass.

5. In the locker rooms, tip servants and "pom-pom girls" liberally.

6. Do not allow the plaudits of the multitude to drive you into paroxysms of self-congratulatory ideation.

7. Remember that it isn't winning but how you play the game that counts.

8. Do not reify the team spirit.

9. Do not perspire in public.

10. Remember that, since polo is the only game for a gentleman, all this is just preparation for the day you can afford to buy a horse.

H.H. A., C.B.H.