Application for Membership
The Original Kleptonian Neo-American Church
Her Highness Joan, Chief Bee Hee
OKNeoAC c/o NeoACT, Box 3473, Austin, Texas 78764
All members of the Original Kleptonian Neo-American Church subscribe to the following three principles:
1. The psychedelic substances, such as cannabis and LSD, are religious sacraments since their ingestion encourages Enlightenment, which is the recognition that life is a dream and the externality of relations an illusion (solipsistic nihilism).
2. The use of the psychedelic sacraments is a basic human right and all interference therewith is an assault on this right.
3. We do not encourage the ingestion of the greater sacraments such as LSD and mescaline by those who are unprepared and we define preparedness as familiarity with the lesser sacraments such as cannabis and nitrous oxide and with solipsist-nihilist epistemological reasoning based on such models as David Hume, Sextus Empiricus and Nagarjuna.
If you agree with the above and wish to join the Church, print this page and fill out the following form, sign it, and mail to the above address. Please print. If you want to be ordained please tell us what you want to be boo hoo or bee hee of. An initial donation of $35 is expected. Your cancelled check is proof of membership. Membership includes a copy of the latest version of Millbrook. Electronic mail is the standard means of communication within the Church. For more information, contact your local boo hoo or Sahib Kevin Sanford, Boo Hoo General of Texas, Box 3473, Austin, TX 78764, (512) 443-8464, ktsanford@okneoac.com.
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Note to new members: You are now in a position to contact other members as a presumably like-minded person, but remember that you are not a customer and that the OKNeoAC is not a business. Nor is this a club. It's a religious allegiance association. We expect loyalty. Your experience with other organizations is of no value here. Membership in any other religious organization, including the Masonic Order, Alcoholics Anonymous and the Church of Universal Life means automatic excommunication. We expect some kind of donation, however modest, once a month. (Yes, it's the thought that counts.) If you can't be bothered we won't try to find you and will probably delete your records. If you can't do things our way or prefer not to, don't expect the OKNeoAC to change its ways to suit your preferences or circumstances.
Neo-American Church Protocol and Etiquette
The following rules are observed by all members of the Church:
The chief boo hoo is always addressed as "your highness" or "sir" or "chief."
The chief bee hee is always addressed as "your highness" or "ma'am."
They are referred to by using other forms of the same terms.
Only members of the board of toads may telephone the residence of the chief boo hoo or visit the Hoo without an invitation.
Communications directed to the chief boo hoo by regular or electronic mail never refer to criminal activity.
Failure to observe these conventions is an insult to those who do observe them.
We regard the observance of these conventions by non-members as a polite gesture and nothing more.
H.H. Arthur C.B.H.